letter to Naddy

May 2nd, 2001

Dear Naddy,

How are you? I hope all is well with your studies and also with you away from home and parents -- it is hard! But you are a very smart young lady and I know you will do well no matter what.
My work right now is very tedious and boring at times. It is a challenge for me just to keep everything in order and also be sane out of every crazy things that goes on around the department. People are generally nice to me, but I don't really care because work is work and other than that I want it out of my usual life rather than make it the talk of the day. Cause I do bitch about work to my friends and they had enough of it already.
Okay I am trying to learn french again because of this guy I am seeing now. I mentioned him to you on e-mail. He is half Chinese and half Laotian and he lived in France for 26 years (basically when he was a baby) His name is Jean-Paul. Isn't it weird Asian with a French name?! haa haa!
Last Sunday, I asked him out to have brunch (breakfast/lunch) with me, but I didn't tell him that my mom would be there too. He seemed okay about it. My mom thought he was an okay guy, but one thing that bothered her was his height -- he is a bit short for a guy 5-6 or 5-7. He is a computer nerd so a very smart guy - smarter than me. And he plays chess both Chinese chess and regular chess. I like that!
So nobody is perfect right -- I dig it I could live it.
I find myself always worried about other people's opinions. I don't know why. And especially people close to me like my mom and my cousin who is getting married in June of this year. They like to criticize people I basically go out with and I cannot take their comments lightly because they know me well enough to tell me what is not good for me and what is good for me. I just don't know what to do. I so much not want it to bother me, but it does.
I read your letter several times to try to understand your situation. I didn't think it was that complicated of a situation, but then anything on the topic of relationship is fairly complicated to the point of either very good or very bad.
I don't know if my advice would help because of the kind of relationships I had been in the past. They are quite awful. That's the truth when you are young you tend to make stupid mistakes and now just looking back thinking -- they are just too sad that they are funny to laugh about.

unfinished